Many believe that our thoughts control us, for better or worse.
However, philosopher and author Sam Harris notes that thought is part of consciousness. In his Wakingup.com courses, he explains that thoughts happen without our control. They simply materialize. Knowing that we can keep a thought, use it, ignore it, or let it go.
Once that idea makes sense, then many things we believe beyond our control are within it.
Our thoughts don’t rule us. We do – or our consciousness does.
As someone with a short temper, I find that a helpful concept. We can change with one breath – literally. Focusing on the breath invites us to be in the present. I ask myself: “How important is it to be right? Right now?” “Do I have to snarl at the Uber driver for making a wrong turn?” “Do I have to bristle at my tech shortcomings?”
I still bristle, but being present is a gift. It results in less anger, shorter bad moods, and being more accepting.
A friend suggested this change relates to asking how do you – or I – want to show up. That is a tool to get present. And, well, present yourself better.
Marilee Adams, author and creator of The Choice Map, offered a more powerful question in a Coaching.com WBECS Summit session. Her question for all of us was:
“Who do I choose to be in this moment?”
That idea struck me as getting to our core.
When we ask, “How do I want to show up?” we choose how we want to appear or perform. We have focused on others, perhaps at our expense.
When we ask, “Who do I want to be?” we focus first on ourselves. We are deciding what will be best for me now. We can concentrate on being genuine and meeting our needs.
This position isn’t selfish. When we know what is best for us – at the time – we become available to see the other person and their needs. We can focus on having a productive and authentic interaction that satisfies us and them.
It only takes a moment to ask and be in the moment. So, who do you want to be in this moment?
If you’d like to chat about that, Contact Us.